![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem came out of the May 6, 2025 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from janetmiles, nsfwords, see_also_friend, lone_cat, chanter1944, and readera. It also fills the "Caught Red-Handed" square in my 5-1-25 card for the Colors Fest Bingo. This poem has been sponsored by janetmiles. It belongs to the Dr. Infanta and Kraken threads of the Polychrome Heroics series.
Warning: This poem contains intense and controversial topics. Highlight to read the more detailed warnings, some of which are spoilers. It includes drawbacks of superpowers, vulgar language, allusions to mad science, necessity and difficulty of studying supervillain bodies, sensitive data, reference to past educational neglect, discrimination based on type of superpowers, kidnapping and coersion, data theft, vague reference to terrorizing and killing unprincipled mad scientists, abuse of supervillains, pickpockets, irresponsible and violent use of superpowers, arrogance, bullying, and other mayhem. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"The Care and Feeding of Supervillains"
[Monday, May 5, 1958]
Aldous Fruehauf and Ronald Wells
sat at a table, going over reports.
"Brittany Cuthbert ran out of energy
and collapsed again," said Aldous.
"Fuck, that's the third speedster
who's done that this year, and
it's only May," Ronald muttered.
"As I said, they ran out of energy,"
Aldous replied. "It's not uncommon."
"No, but it is dangerous, and we
don't know why it keeps happening,"
said Ronald. "They eat a healthy diet
and we're not short on food supplies."
He could get touchy about food and
supplements because of his experiences
in the army, but it made him sensitive to
other people's needs in those areas.
"Maybe that's the problem," said Aldous.
"We're using dietary guidelines meant
for ordinary people because we haven't
got anything else to offer. It might not
be what our exceptional people need --
or the minions taking care of them."
"You could be right," said Ronald.
"So we need to talk with some of
our scientists and medics about
figuring out how to feed our people."
"That and other kinds of health care,"
Aldous said, flipping to a different report.
"Here's another person who's immune
to all the painkillers that we have."
"Son of a bitch," said Ronald. "We
definitely need to work on that."
Aldous raised his eyebrows.
"Well, if you're involved, maybe
enough people will agree to it."
"I know that mad scientists have
done some heinous things, but we
need to know about our own bodies,"
Ronald said. "If it helps, I'll participate."
"We'll need to find someone discreet
to write up the results, too," said Aldous.
"That will be a security nightmare,"
said Ronald. "We must find a way
to keep the information secure."
Not everybody liked people with
superpowers, and it could get bloody.
They didn't dare risk sensitive data
like this falling into the wrong hands.
"What if we could lock it somehow,
the way each uniform has one owner?"
Aldous mused, leafing through reports.
"It's fiber tech," Ronald said, nodding.
"I remember reading about that project --
Eldridge Mandelkern took over Garisha's work
after her death. Once they finalized uniforms,
they started working on how to secure paper."
"That should work," said Aldous. "We'll
need something to call this, though."
"The Care and Feeding of Supervillains,"
said Ronald. "Let's call a spade a spade."
"Clear enough," Aldous agreed.
[Friday, June 1, 1962]
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains
had grown from a nutritional pamphlet
to a book with chapters on different topics.
"We really need more medical input for
this guide," Ronald said as he looked
through the latest batch of notes.
"I agree," said Aldous. "Do you
have any ideas how to get more?"
"I was thinking about asking
Dr. Infanta," said Ronald. "She
has been around a lot longer
than we have, plus she has
relevant superpowers."
"I have heard that she
has a whole stack of
medical degrees from
different time periods,"
said Aldous. "That may
be a helpful perspective."
"I'll pass the word through
our operatives and see
whether she's interested in
contributing," said Ronald.
[Wednesday, September 3, 1975]
Lore had spent several weeks updating
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains,
and she was nowhere near finished.
Today she was working alongside
Zella Mozambique, a nary woman
but a talented food scientist with
a knack for making recipes
both nutritious and delicious.
"It's too bad that you can't
release this to the public,"
said Zella. "There's a lot in
here that could help people."
"There's also a lot that could
hurt people," said Lore. "That's
why it requires so much security."
The book was typically imprinted
over the template of a textbook
or a phonebook, then locked so
that only one person could use it.
"I understand," said Zella. "I may
not be a soup, but my people have
been screwed over by the Man."
"At least you're spreading the word
about healthy soul food," said Lore.
"I've read some of your pamphlets.
I can't cook, but my girlfriend loves
to make your stewed greens."
"Now there's an idea," said Zella.
"SPOON has some pamphlets
about superpowers and how
to cope with them. Could you
go through your book and look
for some safe bits to share?"
"Maybe," Lore said slowly.
"SPOON wouldn't give us
the time of day, though."
"So? Who says it has
to come through you?"
said Zella. "I've helped
Granny Whammy with
some of their pamphlets.
I could just ... pass along
some useful information."
"That could work," said Lore.
"Let me look through this for
the less-dangerous details that
would work for the general public,
SPOON, and maybe allies who
aren't actually in our organization."
"I'm glad I could help," said Zella.
"Just let me know when you have
some things ready to pass around,
and I'll drop them off with SPOON."
[Thursday, October 2, 1986]
After a few decades of development,
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains
had grown to the size of a city phonebook.
People updated it as best they could,
but it got outdated again pretty fast.
"Do you think that this will work?"
Liveware asked as she typed.
"It's such a big project, trying
to make a whole book into
an electronic version."
"We will find some way
to make it work," said Dega.
"We need this. Especially,
the medics need this -- they
need a faster way to search
for data during an emergency."
"Okay," said Liveware. "Then
it's time to break new ground."
[Monday, July 8, 1991]
Lore walked into her office
to find Dr. Infanta sitting on
her desk, kicking her heels
against the metal like a drum.
"We need to talk," said Dr. Infanta.
"Okay," Lore said, trying not to panic,
because those words were rarely good
and Dr. Infanta was a world leader.
"So the problem of superkids
in school is mostly solved, but
that opens up some new cans
of worms," said Dr. Infanta.
The 1980s had brought a lot
of school-age manifestations
that made adults freak out and
try to ban superpowers from
schools, which let to a bunch
of lawsuits to ensure that
superkids got an education.
"I'm listening," said Lore.
"How can I help you?"
"We need to come up
with some handouts for
superkids, parents, teachers,
and especially school nurses,"
said Dr. Infanta. "SPOON has
some, but they're ... basic."
"You mean things for
the kinds of superpowers
that SPOON doesn't like
to discuss," Lore guessed.
Sure, SPOON was happy
to handle anything that would
look good on a superhero,
from Air Powers to Zip-Lining.
When it came to the creepy ones,
though -- things like Death Field or
Lava Form, and even weird versions
of popular powers like Shadowtripping --
then SPOON didn't do so well, because
they thought of that as supervillain territory.
"Exactly," said Dr. Infanta. "We need
to fill in some of the gaps they can't.
So I figure that we can sort through
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains
to find patterns and safety tips to use."
"Like the importance of not turning
a fire extinguisher on a Fire Elemental
who bursts into flames," said Lore. She
had a friend with frostbite scars from it.
"Yeah, let's start out with that one,"
Dr. Infanta agreed. "If I never have
to heal that again, it'll be too soon."
[Friday, September 13, 2002]
There were some things that you didn't
want falling into the wrong hands, and
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains
was definitely one of those things.
Its security was about as close
to perfect as you could get, but
there was no such thing as perfect.
Someone in Argentina had captured
a person with a keyed copy of the book
and forced them to read aloud from it.
Dr. Infanta found out, went down there,
and took care of the problem personally.
It wasn't the first time that she had
dealt with that kind of mad scientist.
Funny how they were still afraid of her.
[Monday, August 9, 2010]
Dr. Infanta had gotten reports
that people were roughing
supervillains in London.
So she insinuated herself
amongst the tourists and
watched for signs of trouble
as they browsed attractions.
Okay, so the city was a bit
of a draw for wild young things,
but that didn't excuse the kind
of mistreatment she heard about.
There were teens with horns
(real and fake), crayon hair,
dyed hair, tattoos (including
a few moving zetetic ones),
and several styles of tails.
There were at least two
telekinetic pickpockets,
whom she scolded gently
about poor victim selection.
There was one unfortunate kid
whose skin oozed toxins, and
Dr. Infanta referred him to Kraken
where, if they couldn't help, they
could probably find him a job
where that would be useful.
When the fight broke out,
it involved Jack Union,
an actual supervillain
whom Dr. Infanta didn't
recognize, and a gang of
teens who might or might not
have been supervillains but
who definitely hadn't been
breaking the law at the time.
Jack Union was too willing
to toss people out of his way
while pursuing his target.
The result was a bunch
of minor injuries and
a bat-winged girl with
broken wing fingers.
"Go catch that fuckwit,
I'll deal with him later,"
Dr. Infanta told Lorry.
Then she turned
her attention to
the crying bat girl.
"Wings can be tricky
to heal, but I've done it
before," Dr. Infanta said.
"How about I fix this?"
Sniffling, the girl nodded.
"You can call me Doc,"
Dr. Infanta told her.
"What's your name?"
"Pipistrelle," she said.
"Like the local bats."
"Well, Pipistrelle, you're
good to go," said Dr. Infanta.
"You'll need extra calories
and calcium for a few days.
Here's a card about wing care
and another for after healing."
"Thanks, Doc," said Pipistrelle.
Then she looked over her shoulder.
"Can anyone do something about
that guy? He's scary, and he's not
the only one who's been leaning on
everyone who looks different."
"Oh, don't worry about that,"
Dr. Infanta said grimly.
"I'm going to deal with him."
By then, Lorry had returned
with Jack Union in tow, which
would've been funny given
other circumstances because
Jack Union kept getting loose
and then Lorry would pop him
right back onto the path.
"That's enough of that crap,"
she said. "Stand still and listen."
Jack Union looked down his nose
at her and said, "I don't have
to listen to you. I'm busy
trying to catch criminals."
He loomed over Pipistrelle,
who hid behind Dr. Infanta.
"You were caught red-handed,
and I mean that literally --"
Dr. Infanta pointed out
the blood spatters from
where he had grabbed
Pipistrelle's wing. "-- so
you damn well will listen."
"I'm Invulnerable, you
can't do anything to me,"
Jack Union protested.
"You may be Invulnerable,"
Dr. Infanta said in a chilly tone,
"but that doesn't mean I can't find
a way to make you sodding miserable.
Now back the hell away from my patient."
Jack Union hesitated, then backed away.
"That's better," said Dr. Infanta. "Now
lay off picking on people smaller than you,
and everyone who is not committing a crime."
"But they're supervillains," he complained.
"You can tell just by looking at them!"
"No, you really can't," said Dr. Infanta.
"Get out of my sight, and don't make
me come back here for this nonsense."
Jack Union grumbled and stalked away.
"Excuse me?" a woman said, hopping
off a bike. "I'm a street medic, and I'm
wondering if you could give me any tips
about handling wing injuries like that?"
"For a break, you need a healer or
a veterinarian, ordinary doctors won't
know what to do," said Dr. Infanta.
"But for smaller injuries, it's amazing
how well wing membranes can heal.
Clean it, rest it, and it'll be fine." She
pulled out another card. "Here are
a few more details on wing care."
"Thank you!" the woman said,
and hurried back to her bicycle.
Dr. Infanta was just grateful that
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains
had developed enough solid information
to hand out on cards when needed.
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its notes appear separately.
janetmiles, nsfwords, see_also_friend, lone_cat, chanter1944, and readera. It also fills the "Caught Red-Handed" square in my 5-1-25 card for the Colors Fest Bingo. This poem has been sponsored by janetmiles. It belongs to the Dr. Infanta and Kraken threads of the Polychrome Heroics series.Warning: This poem contains intense and controversial topics. Highlight to read the more detailed warnings, some of which are spoilers. It includes drawbacks of superpowers, vulgar language, allusions to mad science, necessity and difficulty of studying supervillain bodies, sensitive data, reference to past educational neglect, discrimination based on type of superpowers, kidnapping and coersion, data theft, vague reference to terrorizing and killing unprincipled mad scientists, abuse of supervillains, pickpockets, irresponsible and violent use of superpowers, arrogance, bullying, and other mayhem. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"The Care and Feeding of Supervillains"
[Monday, May 5, 1958]
Aldous Fruehauf and Ronald Wells
sat at a table, going over reports.
"Brittany Cuthbert ran out of energy
and collapsed again," said Aldous.
"Fuck, that's the third speedster
who's done that this year, and
it's only May," Ronald muttered.
"As I said, they ran out of energy,"
Aldous replied. "It's not uncommon."
"No, but it is dangerous, and we
don't know why it keeps happening,"
said Ronald. "They eat a healthy diet
and we're not short on food supplies."
He could get touchy about food and
supplements because of his experiences
in the army, but it made him sensitive to
other people's needs in those areas.
"Maybe that's the problem," said Aldous.
"We're using dietary guidelines meant
for ordinary people because we haven't
got anything else to offer. It might not
be what our exceptional people need --
or the minions taking care of them."
"You could be right," said Ronald.
"So we need to talk with some of
our scientists and medics about
figuring out how to feed our people."
"That and other kinds of health care,"
Aldous said, flipping to a different report.
"Here's another person who's immune
to all the painkillers that we have."
"Son of a bitch," said Ronald. "We
definitely need to work on that."
Aldous raised his eyebrows.
"Well, if you're involved, maybe
enough people will agree to it."
"I know that mad scientists have
done some heinous things, but we
need to know about our own bodies,"
Ronald said. "If it helps, I'll participate."
"We'll need to find someone discreet
to write up the results, too," said Aldous.
"That will be a security nightmare,"
said Ronald. "We must find a way
to keep the information secure."
Not everybody liked people with
superpowers, and it could get bloody.
They didn't dare risk sensitive data
like this falling into the wrong hands.
"What if we could lock it somehow,
the way each uniform has one owner?"
Aldous mused, leafing through reports.
"It's fiber tech," Ronald said, nodding.
"I remember reading about that project --
Eldridge Mandelkern took over Garisha's work
after her death. Once they finalized uniforms,
they started working on how to secure paper."
"That should work," said Aldous. "We'll
need something to call this, though."
"The Care and Feeding of Supervillains,"
said Ronald. "Let's call a spade a spade."
"Clear enough," Aldous agreed.
[Friday, June 1, 1962]
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains
had grown from a nutritional pamphlet
to a book with chapters on different topics.
"We really need more medical input for
this guide," Ronald said as he looked
through the latest batch of notes.
"I agree," said Aldous. "Do you
have any ideas how to get more?"
"I was thinking about asking
Dr. Infanta," said Ronald. "She
has been around a lot longer
than we have, plus she has
relevant superpowers."
"I have heard that she
has a whole stack of
medical degrees from
different time periods,"
said Aldous. "That may
be a helpful perspective."
"I'll pass the word through
our operatives and see
whether she's interested in
contributing," said Ronald.
[Wednesday, September 3, 1975]
Lore had spent several weeks updating
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains,
and she was nowhere near finished.
Today she was working alongside
Zella Mozambique, a nary woman
but a talented food scientist with
a knack for making recipes
both nutritious and delicious.
"It's too bad that you can't
release this to the public,"
said Zella. "There's a lot in
here that could help people."
"There's also a lot that could
hurt people," said Lore. "That's
why it requires so much security."
The book was typically imprinted
over the template of a textbook
or a phonebook, then locked so
that only one person could use it.
"I understand," said Zella. "I may
not be a soup, but my people have
been screwed over by the Man."
"At least you're spreading the word
about healthy soul food," said Lore.
"I've read some of your pamphlets.
I can't cook, but my girlfriend loves
to make your stewed greens."
"Now there's an idea," said Zella.
"SPOON has some pamphlets
about superpowers and how
to cope with them. Could you
go through your book and look
for some safe bits to share?"
"Maybe," Lore said slowly.
"SPOON wouldn't give us
the time of day, though."
"So? Who says it has
to come through you?"
said Zella. "I've helped
Granny Whammy with
some of their pamphlets.
I could just ... pass along
some useful information."
"That could work," said Lore.
"Let me look through this for
the less-dangerous details that
would work for the general public,
SPOON, and maybe allies who
aren't actually in our organization."
"I'm glad I could help," said Zella.
"Just let me know when you have
some things ready to pass around,
and I'll drop them off with SPOON."
[Thursday, October 2, 1986]
After a few decades of development,
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains
had grown to the size of a city phonebook.
People updated it as best they could,
but it got outdated again pretty fast.
"Do you think that this will work?"
Liveware asked as she typed.
"It's such a big project, trying
to make a whole book into
an electronic version."
"We will find some way
to make it work," said Dega.
"We need this. Especially,
the medics need this -- they
need a faster way to search
for data during an emergency."
"Okay," said Liveware. "Then
it's time to break new ground."
[Monday, July 8, 1991]
Lore walked into her office
to find Dr. Infanta sitting on
her desk, kicking her heels
against the metal like a drum.
"We need to talk," said Dr. Infanta.
"Okay," Lore said, trying not to panic,
because those words were rarely good
and Dr. Infanta was a world leader.
"So the problem of superkids
in school is mostly solved, but
that opens up some new cans
of worms," said Dr. Infanta.
The 1980s had brought a lot
of school-age manifestations
that made adults freak out and
try to ban superpowers from
schools, which let to a bunch
of lawsuits to ensure that
superkids got an education.
"I'm listening," said Lore.
"How can I help you?"
"We need to come up
with some handouts for
superkids, parents, teachers,
and especially school nurses,"
said Dr. Infanta. "SPOON has
some, but they're ... basic."
"You mean things for
the kinds of superpowers
that SPOON doesn't like
to discuss," Lore guessed.
Sure, SPOON was happy
to handle anything that would
look good on a superhero,
from Air Powers to Zip-Lining.
When it came to the creepy ones,
though -- things like Death Field or
Lava Form, and even weird versions
of popular powers like Shadowtripping --
then SPOON didn't do so well, because
they thought of that as supervillain territory.
"Exactly," said Dr. Infanta. "We need
to fill in some of the gaps they can't.
So I figure that we can sort through
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains
to find patterns and safety tips to use."
"Like the importance of not turning
a fire extinguisher on a Fire Elemental
who bursts into flames," said Lore. She
had a friend with frostbite scars from it.
"Yeah, let's start out with that one,"
Dr. Infanta agreed. "If I never have
to heal that again, it'll be too soon."
[Friday, September 13, 2002]
There were some things that you didn't
want falling into the wrong hands, and
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains
was definitely one of those things.
Its security was about as close
to perfect as you could get, but
there was no such thing as perfect.
Someone in Argentina had captured
a person with a keyed copy of the book
and forced them to read aloud from it.
Dr. Infanta found out, went down there,
and took care of the problem personally.
It wasn't the first time that she had
dealt with that kind of mad scientist.
Funny how they were still afraid of her.
[Monday, August 9, 2010]
Dr. Infanta had gotten reports
that people were roughing
supervillains in London.
So she insinuated herself
amongst the tourists and
watched for signs of trouble
as they browsed attractions.
Okay, so the city was a bit
of a draw for wild young things,
but that didn't excuse the kind
of mistreatment she heard about.
There were teens with horns
(real and fake), crayon hair,
dyed hair, tattoos (including
a few moving zetetic ones),
and several styles of tails.
There were at least two
telekinetic pickpockets,
whom she scolded gently
about poor victim selection.
There was one unfortunate kid
whose skin oozed toxins, and
Dr. Infanta referred him to Kraken
where, if they couldn't help, they
could probably find him a job
where that would be useful.
When the fight broke out,
it involved Jack Union,
an actual supervillain
whom Dr. Infanta didn't
recognize, and a gang of
teens who might or might not
have been supervillains but
who definitely hadn't been
breaking the law at the time.
Jack Union was too willing
to toss people out of his way
while pursuing his target.
The result was a bunch
of minor injuries and
a bat-winged girl with
broken wing fingers.
"Go catch that fuckwit,
I'll deal with him later,"
Dr. Infanta told Lorry.
Then she turned
her attention to
the crying bat girl.
"Wings can be tricky
to heal, but I've done it
before," Dr. Infanta said.
"How about I fix this?"
Sniffling, the girl nodded.
"You can call me Doc,"
Dr. Infanta told her.
"What's your name?"
"Pipistrelle," she said.
"Like the local bats."
"Well, Pipistrelle, you're
good to go," said Dr. Infanta.
"You'll need extra calories
and calcium for a few days.
Here's a card about wing care
and another for after healing."
"Thanks, Doc," said Pipistrelle.
Then she looked over her shoulder.
"Can anyone do something about
that guy? He's scary, and he's not
the only one who's been leaning on
everyone who looks different."
"Oh, don't worry about that,"
Dr. Infanta said grimly.
"I'm going to deal with him."
By then, Lorry had returned
with Jack Union in tow, which
would've been funny given
other circumstances because
Jack Union kept getting loose
and then Lorry would pop him
right back onto the path.
"That's enough of that crap,"
she said. "Stand still and listen."
Jack Union looked down his nose
at her and said, "I don't have
to listen to you. I'm busy
trying to catch criminals."
He loomed over Pipistrelle,
who hid behind Dr. Infanta.
"You were caught red-handed,
and I mean that literally --"
Dr. Infanta pointed out
the blood spatters from
where he had grabbed
Pipistrelle's wing. "-- so
you damn well will listen."
"I'm Invulnerable, you
can't do anything to me,"
Jack Union protested.
"You may be Invulnerable,"
Dr. Infanta said in a chilly tone,
"but that doesn't mean I can't find
a way to make you sodding miserable.
Now back the hell away from my patient."
Jack Union hesitated, then backed away.
"That's better," said Dr. Infanta. "Now
lay off picking on people smaller than you,
and everyone who is not committing a crime."
"But they're supervillains," he complained.
"You can tell just by looking at them!"
"No, you really can't," said Dr. Infanta.
"Get out of my sight, and don't make
me come back here for this nonsense."
Jack Union grumbled and stalked away.
"Excuse me?" a woman said, hopping
off a bike. "I'm a street medic, and I'm
wondering if you could give me any tips
about handling wing injuries like that?"
"For a break, you need a healer or
a veterinarian, ordinary doctors won't
know what to do," said Dr. Infanta.
"But for smaller injuries, it's amazing
how well wing membranes can heal.
Clean it, rest it, and it'll be fine." She
pulled out another card. "Here are
a few more details on wing care."
"Thank you!" the woman said,
and hurried back to her bicycle.
Dr. Infanta was just grateful that
The Care and Feeding of Supervillains
had developed enough solid information
to hand out on cards when needed.
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its notes appear separately.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-05-13 11:53 am (UTC)I wonder what would happen if his reality tunnel collapses? I bet he's not Invulnerable to feelings..
As for The Care and Feeding of Supervillains kinda makes me wonder if there's a 'safe' version with the more problematical bits redacted that's publicly available. It would make sense for the general public to more widely know stuff like that, so people like that unnamed street medic are better informed.