ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
ysabetwordsmith ([personal profile] ysabetwordsmith) wrote2024-09-30 02:10 pm

Disability and Xenophilia

[personal profile] andr0meda posted this brilliant observation:

"Was browsing a comment chain related to disabled women discussing their love for human × nonhuman romance because I was bored and stumbled across the following:

"Finding comfort in something “alien” (maybe in the literal sense) that has no preconceived notion of you on a societal level, just falling in love with who you are as a person, on the inside. It’s desirable, the removal of society from your relationship."


I figured my audience would grok this.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)

Kind of, I think...

[personal profile] chicating 2024-09-30 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Almost.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)

Re: Kind of, I think...

[personal profile] chicating 2024-09-30 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
No, I meant, I almost understand that!

Re: Kind of, I think...

[personal profile] see_also_friend 2024-10-01 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Also, interspecies relationships* are more difficult /by default/. So if dealing with other humans is already difficult, it's just as easy to switch to the friendly aliens over human jerks.

I actually read a fanfic that had a friendship version of this - the human was 'monstrous' [i.e. a Deathworlder] to the aliens, but had a hard time bonding with other humans because he was neurodivergent. Given the in-universe conflicts, the aliens are mostly okay with bonding once they figure out the human is a) friendly, b) not full grown, and c) extremely protective once he's pack-bonded.

Plus it's a good way to screen for people willing to put in effort - anyone who wanted an easy, off-the-shelf relationship would have just stayed home.
scrubjayspeaks: a California scrub jay perched on a rail (Jaybird)

On the flipside...

[personal profile] scrubjayspeaks 2024-10-01 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, huh, that's interesting. I've seen the connection between disability and xenophilia before, but more often from the other direction. That is, the person with the disability relating to the alien/monster/other and taking comfort in the prospect that even someone Like That could be loved.

I think I've seen that more from the neurodivergent side of disability. It seems like this version is more geared toward physical disability. I wonder if that's a real pattern--the nature of one's disability influencing whether you see yourself more in the monster or the monsterfucker.

[personal profile] see_also_friend 2024-10-01 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Animorphs did a romantic version - Dak Hamee and his ex-Andalite wife. Amusingly, ke looks more monstrous by human standards, but she's far more aggressive (enough to freak out people from her own culture).

Ax could be a platonic version of this. There's a fan theory that he is neurodivergent (which would explain why he is the only alien who acts that specific kind of weird, and also possibly why he never seems to talk about friends from home/prior postings). But to human teenagers, you expect to explain Human Skills 101 to your space alien friend.