So I went through and read all the comments for this entry and thought that a lot of people had some really good thoughts. It's always nice to see that sort of civilized discussion in comments. I've been thinking about this scene and Tony and Phil's actions a lot for the past couple of hours and I wanted to share my thoughts.
I'm chronically ill and subsequently disabled. I have a hard time eating, walking, and bathing sometimes. I'm also way too stubborn for my own good. I'll want to do something (even something pretty boring like clean the bathroom) and be willing to push way past my limits leaving me in pain and sick and potentially stuck in bed. But because I struggle with my self worth and place in the house now that I'm disabled (which is all on me, I'm very lucky and have a extremely supportive environment), I'm willing to push myself that far even though I know it's a bad idea.
Sometimes I need a friend or family member to get me to stop because I'm not in the right mindset to do it for myself. And that's what Phil holding onto Tony felt like to me. Like Tony wasn't in a place to be making fully informed decisions about what's best for him, so Phil stepped up. You mentioned in earlier comments, and I agree, that Tony would have gotten away from Phil if he really anted to or felt threatened. Instead he whined. I can totally relate to that, sometimes you need to kick up a fuss just so you can be reassured that it doesn't matter. To me it felt like Tony testing how committed Phil was to taking care of him. People test because they need/desire proof that there is actually something there to stop them from falling. Things can feel very unpleasant even with the knowledge that it's for the best. I think this is Tony recognizing that.
tl;dr I think Phil made the right call speaking as someone who's had similar situations happen to her because my ability for self-care wasn't high enough at the particular moment.
(I wrote all of this out on my phone and then accidentally left the page losing my comment. Like a sane person I hopped on the computer real fast a retyped it. If anything of this doesn't make sense let me know, I'm on a lot of nighttime meds at the moment. I'm happy to clarify if I'm not being clear.)
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dancing_serpent
(no subject)
Date: 2013-11-09 06:00 am (UTC)I'm chronically ill and subsequently disabled. I have a hard time eating, walking, and bathing sometimes. I'm also way too stubborn for my own good. I'll want to do something (even something pretty boring like clean the bathroom) and be willing to push way past my limits leaving me in pain and sick and potentially stuck in bed. But because I struggle with my self worth and place in the house now that I'm disabled (which is all on me, I'm very lucky and have a extremely supportive environment), I'm willing to push myself that far even though I know it's a bad idea.
Sometimes I need a friend or family member to get me to stop because I'm not in the right mindset to do it for myself. And that's what Phil holding onto Tony felt like to me. Like Tony wasn't in a place to be making fully informed decisions about what's best for him, so Phil stepped up. You mentioned in earlier comments, and I agree, that Tony would have gotten away from Phil if he really anted to or felt threatened. Instead he whined. I can totally relate to that, sometimes you need to kick up a fuss just so you can be reassured that it doesn't matter. To me it felt like Tony testing how committed Phil was to taking care of him. People test because they need/desire proof that there is actually something there to stop them from falling. Things can feel very unpleasant even with the knowledge that it's for the best. I think this is Tony recognizing that.
tl;dr I think Phil made the right call speaking as someone who's had similar situations happen to her because my ability for self-care wasn't high enough at the particular moment.
(I wrote all of this out on my phone and then accidentally left the page losing my comment. Like a sane person I hopped on the computer real fast a retyped it. If anything of this doesn't make sense let me know, I'm on a lot of nighttime meds at the moment. I'm happy to clarify if I'm not being clear.)