The Wordsmith's Forge

This is today's second freebie, thanks to new prompter batiferrite. It was inspired by  erulisse. It also fills the "shenanigans" square in my 7-1-23 card for the Fireworks Bingo fest. This poem belongs to the series Love Is For Children.


"Fulfillment and Joy"


It took a long time for Tony
to admit that he was just going
to have to talk to someone.

He'd tried looking things up
online, of course, and even
of paper (ugh) but there simply
wasn't a lot about aromance,
and not what he was looking for.

JARVIS had tried to help, since
he had already read the internet on
asexuality, but he didn't experience
emotions the same way humans did,
which made it hard to find things
about how aromantic people felt.

Eventually Tony slunk into
Phil's office, slouched in a chair,
and mumbled, "Could we talk?"

"I'm listening," Phil said as he
leaned forward. "What about?"

"I uh, need help," Tony said,
groping at air. "With, with feelings.
And not having feelings. For people.
Like, hearts and flowers feelings.
That way. For anyone. Ever."

"Someone, like a counselor?"
Phil asked. "Another aro?"

"I, I don't know," Tony said.
"If I knew I'd just do it! I tried
looking it up, but that didn't help.
Emotions aren't well indexed."

He was terrible at this. That
was the whole crux of the problem.

Phil chuckled softly. "They really
aren't," he agreed. "What about
Dr. Samson? He's quite good at
helping people sort out their feelings.
I know he has some materials about
sex, romance, and gender listed."

"Really?" Tony perked up a bit. "I've
been hearing good things about him.
I guess I could try that. But he's not
aromantic, at least, I don't think so."

"That's true," said Phil. "You're
looking for other aromantic folks?"

"I have my friends, I have my team,
I have hobbies I enjoy, and I do work
that I find very fulfilling," Tony said.
"I just don't find fulfillment and joy
from romance." He fidgeted. "And
I don't know how to find fulfillment
and joy from being aromantic, so
I might need to ... talk to someone.
Who is aromantic and can do that."

"That's a good idea," said Phil. "I'm
sure there are support groups for it."

Tony sighed. "JARVIS and I looked,"
he said. "They're mostly for people
who are aromantic and asexual. I'm
not. I'm really, really not. I don't want
to change that. I love sex! I love all of
the bedroom shenanigans. But it's not
the same as loving that I'm aromantic."

"There's nothing wrong with that,"
said Phil. "From what I've heard,
you're quite accomplished at
those kinds of shenanigans."

The report from 'Natalie'
had been ... comprehensive,
though not emotionally accurate.

"Yeah," said Tony. "I just don't want
anyone thinking that I can give them
more. But we didn't find a group
that sounded right for that."

"Tony, this is New York,"
Phil said gently. "There is
probably a support group for
survivors of underage hamsters
and duct tape. I'm good at finding
hidden information. Why don't you
give me a few days to scout around?
I'm sure I can find you more options."

"Oh, that's ... that's a relief," Tony said.
"It's hard enough to talk about this
without having to go out and, and
ask. Strangers. Over and over."

Phil leaned over to pat him.
"Don't worry about it. Leave
this in my hands. I'm very good
at asking strangers over and over."

Well, yes, Phil's interrogation skills
ranked second only people like
Black Widow and the Winter Soldier,
but his methods were usually softer.

"Thanks, Phil," Tony said softly.
"I knew that I could count on you."

"You always can," Phil assured him.

* * *

Notes:

"As an aromantic person, I have my friends, I have my found family, I have hobbies I enjoy, and I do work that I find very fulfilling. I just don't find fulfillment and joy from romance."
-- Claire

Talking about feelings is important, but not everyone is good at it. Here are some tips on how to do it. Counseling is really great at helping people sort our their feelings.

Asexuality and aromance are two parts of a spectrum. They often, but not always, occur together and they have a lot in common. For these reasons, and also because these are uncommon orientations, groups serving them often serve the whole spectrum rather than one specific orientation. A problem with this approach is that some aro folks are really enthusiastic about sex and want to talk about how to handle that in positive ways without giving the wrong impression. This means they may feel uncomfortable in a room with lots of sex-indifferent or sex-repulsed people, and conversely, those people may feel uncomfortable with an ethical slut. Sometimes it's better to have a more focused group, but there aren't always enough people for that, which is awkward. And even when there are enough, it's not necessarily something people want to advertise in a society that uses sex to sell everything but turns puritanical about sex outside of relationships.