The Wordsmith's Forge

This story is a sequel to "Love Is for Children," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," and "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," and "No Winter Lasts Forever."

Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, JARVIS, Bucky Barnes, Virginia "Pepper" Potts.
Medium: Fiction
Warnings: Inferences of past child abuse, mind control, and other torture. Current environment is supportive.
Summary: Bucky has a bad day when his memory won't boot up quite right. This makes other people stressed out too. Attempts to help are partially successful, but then the team dynamics go severely pear-shaped.
Notes: Asexual character (Clint). Aromantic character (Natasha). Asexual relationship. Sibling relationships. Fix-it. Teamwork. Vulgar language. Flangst. Hurt/Comfort. Fear of loss. Friendship. Confusion. Memory loss. Nonsexual ageplay. Making up for lost time. Self-harm. Tony!whump. Tony Stark has a heart. Tony doesn't like being handed things. Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Games. Trust issues. Consent. Safety and security. Artificial intelligence. Food issues. Multiplicity/Plurality. Non-sexual touching and intimacy. Yoga. Communication. Personal growth. Cooking. Americana. Family of choice. Feels. #coulsonlives.

Begin with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38, Part 39, Part 40. Skip to Part 43, Part 44, Part 45, Part 46.


"Hide and Seek" Part 41


Steve -- rather reluctantly -- lowered his full weight back onto Phil. Experimentally, Phil kicked out with his legs. Steve reacted just as Phil hoped: trapping Phil's legs between his own. Carefully Phil felt around for the target, then pressed a knee into the inside of Steve's thigh where the femoral artery and some important nerves ran near the surface.

Then Phil threw concerted effort into freeing his wrists. It didn't work, of course, but it distracted Steve beautifully while his leg fell asleep. Then all Phil had to do was kick hard, which broke the lower lock and threw Steve off-balance enough for Phil to escape.

Steve staggered to his feet, limping on the left and staring at Phil in amazement. "What did you do to me?" he said.

Phil explained the move in detail, tracing out the lines on Steve's thigh. Then he called up the security feed to review the endgame. Finally he showed Steve a map of human anatomy pinpointing the vulnerable spots, and pointed out how the pressure had weakened Steve's leg so that Phil could break loose. "You wouldn't have been able to chase me effectively either," Phil concluded.

"Wow," Steve said, his voice thick with admiration. "Okay, now teach me how to block that."

"You need to pay attention to your opponent's whole body, not only obvious attacks," Phil said. "Just because you're a supersoldier doesn't make you impervious. Monitor your vulnerable areas. Remember your first-aid training: any of those pressure points can weaken a limb after a minute or few of sustained contact, and it won't necessarily hurt. Maintain your body awareness and note any changes in sensation. If you're careful, you can shift position before the effect gets strong enough to weaken your hold."

"I think I've got it," Steve said, studying the diagrams again. "Let me try it out?"

"Go ahead," Phil invited as he lay back down on the mat. Steve pressed on top of him, carefully replicating the same position. Phil went through the moves again. This time when he pushed his knee into Steve's thigh, Steve caught him in less than a minute.

Phil tried several times but never regained a good position. Finally he slapped the mat twice. Steve rolled off and let him up. "Well done," Phil said.

Steve looked away. "I feel kinda dumb that you still keep doing this stuff to me," he said quietly.

"I can see how you'd feel that way. You're a powerful soldier, Steve, and in a real fight I probably wouldn't stand a chance against you," Phil said, accepting hand that Steve held out to help him to his feet. "But I've been small and sneaky for decades, I've fought a lot of big bad guys -- and I'm still here and they're not. You're learning fast." The army had disgracefully cheated Steve out of most of his basic training, for which Phil would never forgive them. Phil was still trying to make up for it. Steve's high-speed learning and sheer physical stamina helped.

"Thanks," Steve said, and his smile was back. He liked working out as much as Phil did. "I love the fact that I can exercise and not get tired or out of breath." He smoothed his hands down his chest. "I think it's my favorite thing about this body."

"I can see why," Phil said. "It must have been a big change for you."

"Yeah," Steve said. "Sometimes it's hard to believe that ... this is me now." He stared at his hands. "Everything is so different. Bigger, stronger, faster. Sometimes I look in the mirror and it catches me by surprise, because in my head I'm still just a skinny kid from Brooklyn."

That gave Phil the opening he needed. "When I talked with Bucky about appropriate and inappropriate types of discipline, he sounded accepting of a pretty high level of force."

"Things were different then," Steve said softly. "I see that. I do."

"Well, Bucky is having a hard time grasping the differences, and I want to help," Phil said as they walked to a nearby bench and sat down.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Steve said. "I finally went back and reviewed the security footage from the fight, because Bucky and Tony were acting so weird around each other. I can hardly believe how far it went, so fast. It was almost as bad as what Tony and I did when we first met." Steve shook his head. "Tony must have been terrified with Bucky looming over him like that, it's no wonder he lashed out. But he couldn't have picked a worse threat if he tried."

"Tony and Bucky both regret what they did, and they're in the process of working it out," Phil said. He picked up a towel and scrubbed off some of the sweat from the workout. "This would go better if Bucky had a more complete appreciation of why corporal punishment is a bad idea, rather than just following the house rules by rote."

"I don't think Bucky realizes how awful Tony's childhood really was. Tony doesn't talk about it much," Steve said.

"That's part of the problem, although Tony did share some relevant bits," Phil said.

"He gets on my nerves sometimes, but it's not really his fault. It just baffles me how someone could get to be his age with nothing in the way of decent upbringing or role models," Steve said. "I keep expecting Tony to know things that he just ... doesn't."

Phil sighed. "Howard wasn't in any condition to be a good provider in more than a financial sense, and Obadiah Stane made sure of the rest. All we can do about it now is offer opportunities to learn what's missing."

"I guess I understand how people could go without, if there isn't enough to go around. I've seen plenty of that, growing up in the Depression. I've also seen how far some people went to support their families. Some of what Bucky did for me got pretty steep," Steve said. "I just don't understand how people could have enough, and choose not to take care of their own family. That is so wrong. Even if it's a matter of putting food on the table but not loving them."

* * *

Notes:

Pressure points show where important things are happening with the nerves and blood vessels of the body. They correlate to many of the acupressure points, which are sometimes used as martial arts targets -- usually with a hard fast strike. However, pressing on vulnerable areas really can make arms or legs "fall asleep." There are tips for shaking off the effects faster.

Know how to encourage people, especially when they feel discouraged about something.

Body dysmorphia spans a range of problems based on disliking one's body or feeling that it's wrong somehow. Transgender people sometimes (though not always) feel "trapped in the wrong body." Steve still has the self-image that he grew up with. He loves his new body, it just doesn't quite feel like "him" because it's relatively new. Compare that to the sense of violation and disjunction that Bucky and Tony have about their prosthetic devices, or the downright body horror that Bruce feels regarding his transformations. Those are all different aspects of the same basic issue.

Rote learning has pros and cons. It's ideal for learning foundational facts like the alphabet, but not for principles that have to be applied in complex situations. There are other ways to learn faster and better. In particular, people need to understand the reasons behind rules in order to follow them reliably. Otherwise you get cases where people follow the letter but violate the spirit. Phil knows this, and it's exactly what he wants to avoid with Bucky.

Lack of role models is a serious and growing problem. It can contribute to depression and misbehavior. It's also a factor in weak social skills, as is being rich. There are ways to build social skills and teach them to children. Notice that Tony performs well in some shallow skills such as schmoozing and seduction, but he often annoys people and does far less well with serious intimate relationships.

Family neglect spans a range of problems. It has many causes such as parental upbringing and damage, but precocious or "difficult" children are at higher risk as well. This often leads to survivors neglecting themselves as adults, as indeed most of the Avengers do. Emotional neglect is as serious as physical neglect, just creates a different pattern of damage that is more psychological than physical -- although material neglect also harms the mind. Know the symptoms of emotional neglect. There are ways to identify struggles with self-care and heal the effects of emotional neglect. Phil has been helping a lot with this but so have Bruce, Steve, and Bucky with their strong nurturing instincts. Clint, Natasha, and Tony are more often on the receiving side.


[To be continued in Part 42 ...]